Ugly Self

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‘Those who insult people on the internet only do this because they are hiding their ugly self’

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By: Shine

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2 thoughts on “Ugly Self

  1.  Darn, I’m older than dirt!!

     

    Someone asked the other day,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up ?’ 
    ‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up   ,’

    I informed him, ‘   All the food was slow   .’ 

    ‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’ 
    ‘It was a place called ‘home,’ I explained!

    ‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work,

    we sat down together at the dining room table, & if I didn’t like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it   .’ 

    By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

     

    Here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

    Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

    My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)   .

    We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 10. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 11, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God. It came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people  .. 

    I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

    Pizzas were not delivered to our home… But milk was & so was bread  .

    All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers —   my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. He had to get up at   5   AM   every morning   .

    If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust their gut laughing   .

    Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it   ?

    MEMORIES   :

    My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old   .

    How many do you remember   ?

    Head lights dimmer switches on the floor   . 
    Ignition switches on the dashboard  . 
    Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards   . 
    Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner   . 
    Using hand signals for cars without turn signals   . 

    Older Than Dirt Quiz   : 
    Count all the ones that you remember   , NOT   the ones you were told about   ! 
    Ratings at the bottom   . 

    1. Candy cigarettes 
    2 Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes

    3 Home milk delivery in glass bottles
    4 Party lines on the telephones 
    5 Newsreels before the movie 
    6. TV   test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels   !! If you had a TV!!

    7 Pea-shooters 
    8 Howdy Doody

    9 45 RPM records

    10. 78 rpm records 
    11. Hi-fi records 33 1/3 rpm 
    12. Metal ice trays with lever 
    13. Blue flashbulb 
    14. Cork popguns

    15. Studebakers

    16. Wash tub wringers

     

    If you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young 
    If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
    If you remembered 7-10 = Don’t tell your age, &
    If you remembered 11-16   =   You’re older than dirt   !!!  

    I might be older than dirt but   those memories are some of the best parts of my life   .

    Don’t forget to pass this along   !! 
    Especially to all your   OLD   friends

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    1. 1. Candy cigarettes ‘Only for the kool kids’
      2 Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes ‘Only in the cities, I was a wheat belt kid’
      3 Home milk delivery in glass bottles ‘With holes in the caps that the crows made to get to the cream’
      4 Party lines on the telephones ‘I don’t think we had a telephone’
      5 Newsreels before the movie ‘Preferred the Cartoons’
      6. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels !! If you had a TV!! ‘Didn’t get one till I was about 6 and the family moved into town’
      7 Pea-shooters ‘Teachers loved to give us the cane on the hands’
      8 Howdy Doody ‘The mickey Mouse Club only if dad was asleep or he would put the football on’
      9 45 RPM records ‘Teenage Years’
      10. 78 rpm records ‘Teenage Years’
      11. Hi-fi records 33 1/3 rpm ‘Teenage Years’
      12. Metal ice trays with lever ‘Ice it was occasionally delivered in blocks’
      13. Blue flashbulb ‘Once or twice a year special occasions’
      14. Cork popguns ‘ After show day’
      15. Studebakers ‘Holden’s and Fords’
      16. Wash tub wringers ‘Right out the front door on the patio’

      What about the outhouse and having to get past pop’s killer pig dog to get to it!
      Brown Snakes and swimming with the local indigenous kids at the river!
      Trading the empty soda bottles at the local store 5km away for a bag of mixed lollies, Milk bottles and Strawberries and cream 3 for 1 cents!
      Nanna driving with aunty sitting beside her to steer as nannas eye sight was bad!
      Building cubby houses out of hay bails!
      Wow! older then dirt with the mental age of 21, lol
      Cheers 😜

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